Stepping out of the Matrix: Deleting Facebook

I am becoming more and more aware of the dangers regarding the internet and social media. Facebook now owns the rights to all of your pictures and information no matter if you cancel your service with them or not. It is a lot like spying on someone's life too, as most social media. Even if you are not friends with someone on Facebook, you can still know a friend of someone who is connected to a person you want to follow, ease-drop, and pretty much gather information. 

Pugil match FRG (family readiness group) fundraiser
Fort Drum, NY

Very early this morning, a friend of mine today deleted his Facebook and texted me saying, "Hey, didn't delete you on purpose. Just wanted to delete my Facebook- wanted to step out of the Matrix. I want to know people in real life." I thought that was a great message. 

Later that day, I coincidentally ended up battling my own faceless and nameless cyber-spies documenting my every thought; I realized how easy our information can be used against us. Why, I just blogged about this very thing not long ago. It was about media decorum and reminding ourselves of what we can and can not say. I had no idea just how quickly I would have to remind myself of this very lesson. Things we write can be misinterpreted, tracked, and used against us. Yet, as a wise friend has advised me that often standing up for our rights, giving our own critical analysis, and standing for our belief in personal justice- is a hard, unpopular road to travel down. But, either stand by silently and let it eat you alive inside or you bring to light matters of the heart. It is a personal choice.  

I disconnected my Facebook after realizing I grew tired of having my own pugile stick match, defending words that shouldn't have been read as my Facebook was set on Private and yet invaders still found a way to sneak in. Although recently, Facebook has updated their privacy. I still decided to press "disconnect" from my Facebook account. Users have a huge responsibility on what they write. Therefore, it was best to take down my Facebook account or deal with the constant worry if what I say on this social networking site will be taken incorrectly. Until Facebook can prove that it has sufficiently improved their ability to protect ones privacy. I will not be re-activating my account any time soon. So, I heaved a heavy sigh of relief and pressed "delete." Since I needed to take responsibility for my own actions, I did just that by deciding to step away from the Facebook addiction to that Matrix- that false world.

I turned off my computer and smiled at the day I had with the people in my life. Real people, ones that I worked closely as a team to raise money for Family Readiness Group. A group that helps families of deploying and deployed soldiers at war. I watched as men, women, and soldiers all helped as a team to do simple things like pass out food and the most popular chili for their money's worth. Everyone smiled, laughed, and all treated each other like equals. In the Army, there is the highest level of team-player mentality that goes above any film set and class room I have ever been apart of. Being there, working together brought me back to that place. It erased any negative words and false accusations made by those that do not know me. Because, those that do know me know that one of my strengths is being a team player and working hard, carrying a heavy load or level of responsibility if I have to- just to ensure the goal we set out to do is achieved.

Together, we fed hungry soldiers and families and children and wives. We help break down the food table, take out the trash, and well- none of us walked away without getting our hands dirty. No one was better, no one was in a "click" everyone was, well, equal. I found today to be a new embrace of the good I know that is in me and it gave me hope. The misconception that most have with the Army or the military is that they do not blend with civilians. They are grouped together and unable to "play well" with the rest of society. This is a huge misconception. On the contrary, the military men and women and families are the most flexible people I know, myself included. Because we move a lot, we easily establish ways of re-adjusting to our new environment and set of friends quickly. But, our biggest strength is our ability to know how to work as a team. 

And all it takes is one or a few antagonists in our lives to spread character assassinations- causing a ripple effect of negative energy effecting how the rest of your world sees you. Go to the grocery store, look in the magazines, tabloids and see the number of negative stories with celebrities posted. Their faces and their stories and some that are true, but most stories are character spears, assassinations and down right non-sense. How much of their lives are effected by a couple of rumors spread? Character assassinations that basically taint so many people's views of you before ever getting to know the you that you know you are, stripped from any exaggerations, misunderstanding, and mis-characterization?

If not careful, Facebook can do this to us and yes, we have to take some responsibility for what we post. It is our fault for posting up material that may offend others. So, if this happens, perhaps you may need to do the honorable think and disconnect from your Facebook account. Because, social media can come in to our lives to only create havoc. The larger your base of followers in any circle- the harder it is to maintain or keep track. Some may want to be a viral celebrity, while others are finding that it is better to press "delete." No misunderstanding, no hurt feelings, nothing taken personal, no more misjudging friends that have crazy extra-curricular activities you do not agree with or invitations not sent to you, the hours in your day wasted. The list goes on and on. The headache is over for me.

Good bye Facebook, I will not be re-activating my account unless Facebook changes their privacy policy. I am going to film more mountain biking this weekend, spending it hiking and with friends, with my husband and my dogs in Lake Placid. I am going to enjoy my life out side of the Matrix.

Viral Networking and the Anti-Social

We are at the networking age where conversations no longer need to take place in person. We no longer need to face a person, but tend to do more of our conversing over messaging. Does this new technical age somehow make us socially retarded? For me, I have noticed that the more and more I perfect my social networking skills, the more I tend to forget the fundamentals of simple conversational etiquette.

Social networking sites that tend to suck us into random chat sessions that last too long are ones like Facebook and Twitter. When I first began using Twitter, I really did not know what I was doing or how to use it. But, when properly used one could carefully communicate effective messages that lead into marketing strategies for any type of entrepreneur. However, one that is not used by the younger Facebook generation is LinkedIn. LinkedIn is actually one of the most respected networking sites, in my personal opinion. Because, you must know contacts and gaining contacts are not as easy to do as it is on Twitter and Facebook. But having real business contacts is worth the hassle of the slow building process that it takes to gain a network base on LinkedIn.

Also, LinkedIn is a business profile and resume page for your future employers and people that would like to see a professional snapshot of you. While keeping up with these tools are great. Here are 10 things you can teach yourself how to become more emotionally intelligent and socially conscious. I try and practice these mantras daily, especially during stressful moments in life, such as Graduate boot camp at Newhouse.

1. Try not to live in your head, catch yourself when you find yourself wandering from the moment and try to stay present.

2. Be mindful when others are talking and catch yourself if you interrupt- practice active listening.

3. Learn to mingle with everyone and realize that relationships develop naturally. But, if two people do not fit together due to personality clashes, that is okay too.

4. Never allow yourself to get too sucked into networking where it suddenly takes the place of real friends and real human interaction.

5. Learn to not take things too personally and see yourself as valuable, even if others may not see it. You need to see it in yourself and that is the most important thing.

6. Practice moderation with all that you do. Begin with small things and suddenly, you’ll find that the big things aren’t so big at all. You may find more balance in your life this way.

7. When you are faced with a personality that really rubs you the wrong way, ask yourself why and find a way to make peace with who they are and then let the conflict go.

8. Remember all of the times you didn’t feel so acquired. Recall a time in your life where you felt confident, smooth, alive, and sure of yourself and your future. Then, practice placing yourself back in that emotional state, especially during moments where you feel unsure about things.

9. Never allow people or events in your life to effect you so much that it ruins your chances of success. Be the winner and succeed by not giving in to negative distractions. This means, that if you have to block it all out- do so and focus on your own journey.

10. Always try to eat right and get enough rest. You’ll find that when you don’t sleep that much, your tendency to say the wrong things are that much easier.

These are things I am still trying to master and will hopefully become better at over this next year. Because, networking is key and the ability to understand various personalities different than our own can make current or future projects easier to work on and allow for a more socially mature self.