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Saturday, August 20, 2011

How to Utilize Linkedin For Effective Networking

There are many forms of networking tools to utilize these days and more are getting developed. With the flood of viral communication, the important thing to keep in mind are which social media sites you want to invest your time.

Negative Effects of Social Media (primarily Facebook):

1. Increases isolation and reduces real life communication with people.

2. Increases misunderstandings if words or something that is written is taken out of context or interpreted wrong.

3. Increases time on the computer, wasting away countless hours.

4. Increases chance of identity theft.

5. Increases cyber stalking, snooping, ease-dropping.

6. Increases anti-social behavior.

7. Trains this generation of being less capable of real communication, reducing the ability to communicate in person.

8. Allows fantasy to over-ride a person's life, increasing escapism.

9. Allows people to believe that unknown viral friends are somehow real when most of them they have never met in real life.

10. It is not real.

The absolute best example of this is in the new Toyota commercial.




However, the best sort of social networking use are for the following purposes: obtaining jobs, job leads, connections for small and large businesses, viral marketing and PR uses for self publishing or self promotion of any type. Social networking is a powerful tool. But, needs to be intelligently used. One highly recommended site I use the most is Linkedin. I feel that it is the only professional networking site that does help you get connected to jobs. While Facebook has attempted their own version called "Branchout," it still doesn't come close to Linkedin. Unfortunately, anything on Facebook can not be taken seriously. Posts people have of their parties, drinking binges, and even bragging about murders- as one kid did when he killed his parents in Florida, then posted it up on Facebook, inviting his friends to a party while his parents were rotting away. 

Linkedin, you can begin with the contacts you do have and then spread out by joining professional groups. You have to be accepted by the group. But, once you do- in each group there are many more members you can connect with. You can send them an invitation request if you have their e-mail, if you know them personally, or if you are apart of the same group. So far, I have joined 32 professional groups. I have been able to join in discussions, inquiries, and spread my networking. Linkedin is not a waste of time, with the proper use and knowledge- one can learn to get a job and continue to network on a professional level.

The rule of thumb for anyone in college (undergrad, grad, PHD) schools/Universities, in a business, or any professional environment where you are in contact with bosses, peers, and professors.

1. Learn how to listen.

2. Learn how ask the right questions.

3. Be friendly and social, but sincere (not fake).

4. Be a team player.

5. Establish professional boundaries immediately (by far the most important- even boundaries with family and close friends).


My Linkedin Groups where I am a participatory member:

Friday, August 19, 2011

Stepping out of the Matrix: Deleting Facebook

I am becoming more and more aware of the dangers regarding the internet and social media. Facebook now owns the rights to all of your pictures and information no matter if you cancel your service with them or not. It is a lot like spying on someone's life too, as most social media. Even if you are not friends with someone on Facebook, you can still know a friend of someone who is connected to a person you want to follow, ease-drop, and pretty much gather information. 

Pugil match FRG (family readiness group) fundraiser
Fort Drum, NY
Very early this morning, a friend of mine today deleted his Facebook and texted me saying, "Hey, didn't delete you on purpose. Just wanted to delete my Facebook- wanted to step out of the Matrix. I want to know people in real life." I thought that was a great message. 

Later that day, I coincidentally ended up battling my own faceless and nameless cyber-spies documenting my every thought; I realized how easy our information can be used against us. Why, I just blogged about this very thing not long ago. It was about media decorum and reminding ourselves of what we can and can not say. I had no idea just how quickly I would have to remind myself of this very lesson. Things we write can be misinterpreted, tracked, and used against us. Yet, as a wise friend has advised me that often standing up for our rights, giving our own critical analysis, and standing for our belief in personal justice- is a hard, unpopular road to travel down. But, either stand by silently and let it eat you alive inside or you bring to light matters of the heart. It is a personal choice.  

I disconnected my Facebook after realizing I grew tired of having my own pugile stick match, defending words that shouldn't have been read as my Facebook was set on Private and yet invaders still found a way to sneak in. Although recently, Facebook has updated their privacy. I still decided to press "disconnect" from my Facebook account. Users have a huge responsibility on what they write. Therefore, it was best to take down my Facebook account or deal with the constant worry if what I say on this social networking site will be taken incorrectly. Until Facebook can prove that it has sufficiently improved their ability to protect ones privacy. I will not be re-activating my account any time soon. So, I heaved a heavy sigh of relief and pressed "delete." Since I needed to take responsibility for my own actions, I did just that by deciding to step away from the Facebook addiction to that Matrix- that false world.

I turned off my computer and smiled at the day I had with the people in my life. Real people, ones that I worked closely as a team to raise money for Family Readiness Group. A group that helps families of deploying and deployed soldiers at war. I watched as men, women, and soldiers all helped as a team to do simple things like pass out food and the most popular chili for their money's worth. Everyone smiled, laughed, and all treated each other like equals. In the Army, there is the highest level of team-player mentality that goes above any film set and class room I have ever been apart of. Being there, working together brought me back to that place. It erased any negative words and false accusations made by those that do not know me. Because, those that do know me know that one of my strengths is being a team player and working hard, carrying a heavy load or level of responsibility if I have to- just to ensure the goal we set out to do is achieved.

Together, we fed hungry soldiers and families and children and wives. We help break down the food table, take out the trash, and well- none of us walked away without getting our hands dirty. No one was better, no one was in a "click" everyone was, well, equal. I found today to be a new embrace of the good I know that is in me and it gave me hope. The misconception that most have with the Army or the military is that they do not blend with civilians. They are grouped together and unable to "play well" with the rest of society. This is a huge misconception. On the contrary, the military men and women and families are the most flexible people I know, myself included. Because we move a lot, we easily establish ways of re-adjusting to our new environment and set of friends quickly. But, our biggest strength is our ability to know how to work as a team. 

And all it takes is one or a few antagonists in our lives to spread character assassinations- causing a ripple effect of negative energy effecting how the rest of your world sees you. Go to the grocery store, look in the magazines, tabloids and see the number of negative stories with celebrities posted. Their faces and their stories and some that are true, but most stories are character spears, assassinations and down right non-sense. How much of their lives are effected by a couple of rumors spread? Character assassinations that basically taint so many people's views of you before ever getting to know the you that you know you are, stripped from any exaggerations, misunderstanding, and mis-characterization?

If not careful, Facebook can do this to us and yes, we have to take some responsibility for what we post. It is our fault for posting up material that may offend others. So, if this happens, perhaps you may need to do the honorable think and disconnect from your Facebook account. Because, social media can come in to our lives to only create havoc. The larger your base of followers in any circle- the harder it is to maintain or keep track. Some may want to be a viral celebrity, while others are finding that it is better to press "delete." No misunderstanding, no hurt feelings, nothing taken personal, no more misjudging friends that have crazy extra-curricular activities you do not agree with or invitations not sent to you, the hours in your day wasted. The list goes on and on. The headache is over for me.


Good bye Facebook, I will not be re-activating my account unless Facebook changes their privacy policy. I am going to film more mountain biking this weekend, spending it hiking and with friends, with my husband and my dogs in Lake Placid. I am going to enjoy my life out side of the Matrix.








Thursday, August 18, 2011

2 Kinds of People: Eat the RAW steak vs. Complain to the Waiter

My husband and I were eating dinner at a steak restaurant once. It wasn't a typical steak place- it was a really expensive place where they specialized in their amazing steak-cooking abilities. He ordered his steak well done and I ordered mine- medium rare. Well, when our food came- I got what I wanted and I was pretty happy. I ordered a medium rare and that is what I got. However, when my husband received his (well done), it was all but walking off his plate. Yep. His wasn't just a little pink, it was RAW.  It was bloody, uncooked, and pretty disgusting unless you like to eat raw meat.

When I informed him that he needed to say something, speak up. He grew worried and didn't want to be "that kind of customer." You know, the one that is a pain in the ass. It took a few more attempts to chew his uncooked meat and nearly vomiting at that- to finally cause him to flag the waiter and speak up.


THERE ARE 2 KINDS OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD:

1. THE PASSIVE AGRESSIVE TYPE: Those that do not speak up, do things underhandedly when they are upset and are afraid of confrontation. These are the types that will smile to your face and back stab you at the same time.

OR

2. THE  "I TAKE NO BS"  STRAIGHT FORWARD TYPE: The person that confronts issues head on and tells the waiter "I didn't order raw meat." I am that kinda guy. Not the quiet type that is afraid to simply ask for an expensive steak to be cooked a bit longer. 

People that are my friends actually appreciate my straight forwardness. Others that don't like it are not my friends and I do not associate with them. Period. People value genuineness too. They know when you are real and when you are fake. That is why I do not believe in simply networking and cold/superficial contacts where people want to keep you at arms length. 

Recently in the last 2 days my persistance has landed me an internship with a Los Angeles studio and a potential offer to write a biography of someone's amazing true life story. I did this through utilizing my contacts (over 600 now- 95% are all film industry) on Linkedin and also my ability to connect with people and really care about them. 

Hey, so some people may think that being #2 on my personality list above is a bit "Oh my gosh....she's so abrasive. Why doesn't she just eat the raw meat and not complain to the waiter. What will the waiter and the restaurant think of her if she complains!"I prefer to be myself and those that really want to work with me- can. Those that don't- hey, more power to you.

Bottom Line: Do not be afraid to speak up. Because, while some may not jive with my blunt approach. I have many more contacts that would prefer it any day of the week above fake passive aggressive BS. I am a straight shooter. So far, I have already landed an internship in Los Angeles and a potential book writing gig. The internship is still being ironed out- as we are trying to work out a way to do it via telecommuting. Which is possible. The book writing gig- I just said "ABSOLUTELY" to her today. Being that this will be my 2nd official book I write (3rd if you count an unpublishable 600 page mess I wrote 12 years ago). So, I know all too well, it is not an easy undertaking when creating anything. There will be hard work ahead, but those that know me know that I am not afraid of hard work. 

Hey, so these aren't 6 figure job offers, but for a current Grad student- it is not bad. I must be doing something right and that must be that those that do like me- are the potential job opportunities that matter.












"You draw more people to you with honey than you do with vinegar." Yeah, yeah, yeah.....BUT, "A CLOSED MOUTH DOESN'T GET FED EITHER, AND HOW ARE YOU GONNA BUY HONEY WITHOUT THE MONEY?!?!" 





Monday, August 15, 2011

Productivity: Healthy Breaks vs. Brain Numbing

When you want to get more creative, some times cleaning your house helps. With a clean environment you can think more clear and feel more refreshed. In the same way, exercising regularly allows for the blood to flow through you and helps to reduce stress. With an organized desk and home, more time can be spent focusing on being creative.

Today I took my dogs out for a run, as I cycled on my bike in the light drizzling rain and enjoyed it. It allowed me to clear my head and get away from video editing. For me, I feel that taking time to relax is not my preference. Instead, my preference is to continue to work on my craft every day. I do not believe that one can become a better writer, filmmaker, editor, artist- by taking breaks. It is important to relax, but for me it is more important to constantly work on developing your skill. If I do need to relax or take a break, it is important to know how to do it.

Craft development can only be achieved if you have everything else in your life straight.

1. Clean your house, apartment, room, work desk.

2. Get enough sleep and try to stay on some sort of sleep routine.

3. Exercise.

4. Social network, but make sure to take nature retreats.

5. Calm Family and home with finances in order.



Nature Retreats is a good way to take a break because you are taking a break from technology- which is different than deciding to stop filming, writing or painting for a long period of time. Taking a nature retreat for a day or an afternoon is healthy. It is the best way to get inspired. But, brain numbing is not a good way to clear your head as I wrote in my previous blog.

Brain numbing = being unconscious and being unconscious is a form of avoidance. Here are some ways people numb themselves.

Brain numbing:

1. Alcohol.

2. Drugs.

3. Video Games.

4. Internet- Hours on the internet (surfing, social media & etc).

5. Watching TV or Films (I am not just saying for a 3-4 hours, but spending nearly your entire day in front of the tv).

There is nothing wrong with numbing your brain from time to time. I am not advocating illegal substances, but rather legal brain numbing activities are fine in limited quantities. It is better to do brain numbing for short periods of times rather than getting stuck in it. When one becomes stuck in "brain numbing" unconscious living, time slips and so does your goals and truly living.  Real living is not numbing yourself with drugs, alcohol, technology, tv and etc.

Real living is being conscious and present and paying attention to others. Being open to meeting new people and not willing to retract in to your comfort zone. When you become conscious,  you begin to absorb more of life and you begin experiencing more, thus having more of life to draw from. When you allow yourself to experience new things, you become a better writer, filmmaker, artist because you have created new memories and stories to share with the world.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Networking and the Socially Awkward

In this rough economy, networking and building your base is stressed more than ever before. It is stressed so much in fact, that it stresses me out just hearing it over and over again. Regardless of what industry you are in, it seems that having social skills is the key to obtaining a job. Success as it seems is directly related to who you socialize with and if you come across as someone that can play like a team.

The problem that I find with this constant talk of networking, making friends with everyone you come in contact with and trying to broaden your social base is that not all of us are good at it. I am good at networking virally, but not necessarily comfortable in almost any social situation. I also feel that not every successful person is the popular extravert. Some people are naturally capable of blending in to almost any crowd, striking up a conversation, becoming easily liked and easily understood. While, there are some of us like me that does not fit in to one social group. I constantly find myself feeling socially awkward and uneasy around some people. It takes me a long time to get to know people, trust people, and adjust. 

It seems that in most social circles, if you do not "show your face" in these groups- you are not participating. Even if it is fake, it seems that one must show their face in order to give the appearance or the illusion that they are participating. In my personal opinion, it is necessary to socialize and network. But at the same time, relationships have to form naturally. We must put ourselves out there, allow ourselves to grow and learn and get to know people. But, friendships can not be forced because we all have free will and those that do not like you, have their right not to. So, for those of us that may not belong, we move on and work with people that do get us and understand our personalities. 

In my opinion, networking is important. But, I also think that sometimes blending in and not really belonging to any one group but being your own individual- is much more important. Flexibility comes with those that do not stay within their own comfort zone. Those that step out of their comfort zone, have the ability to be open to any person or situation. And as long as one remains genuine and true to oneself- making the right connections for the right type of employment will fall in to place naturally.


Saturday, August 13, 2011

Stress Detox- Clearing the Mind For Better Focus

Attending Grad school has proven to be extremely stressful for me. If not for the work load, the 3 hour commutes as well. Also, having a learning disability- adult ADD is nothing to take lightly. It is a serious condition that often takes a toll on the way I communicate. I tend to enjoy talking or discussing my view point and may not even realize that I am not allowing others to talk. I tend to take longer on tests or exams or assignments than the average person. I have a tendency to get distracted easily and sometimes, I have organizational problems.

Though under stress, I noticed that the average adult with ADD can take on multiple projects and juggle more than the average person some times. But, in my case I have noticed that the the above are things I have to take into consideration when in a learning environment. In the same way, when we deal with stress we must consider everything that is surrounding our circumstances. There are things that we can change and things that we can not change. 

Say if we have a heavy work load, we can not change the amount of work we have. However, we can figure out a way to cope with all of it much better. If you have a handicap, a learning disability, or other special considerations. It is good to take these things into consideration and figure out a creative way to deal with your specific circumstance. So, I have to allow more time to study. I have to attend study sessions and study groups. I have to pre-plan things way in advance in order to be more organized. 

However, a key component to stress is exercise and time specifically designated for mind clearing. Yes and the time that you do designate ought to involve nature. Being conscious is an important factor to detoxing from stress. When detoxing and clearing the mind. You want to always try to stay away from brain-numbing activities. Brain numbing involves being unconscious: being on the internet, watching movies or tv or playing video games- all activities that make you unconscious and not present. Anything that is going to involve brain numbing is not necessarily a stress detox. 

To really clear the mind, it is necessary to get out and do something that might be adventurous, fun, and most of all- nature related. I tend to enjoy hiking. Running is also good, but I am not really a runner and so I tend to enjoy nature hikes much more. Just recently, I went white water rafting on a level 4 rapid with 10 feet drops, this adventure was amazing. Luckily I didn't fall out of the boat. But, the activity was challenging, adventurous, got the blood flowing and taught me to be present. When white water rafting you have to work with a team of people in a boat, listen to orders to ensure you are all working as a team or your boat can tip over. It is also a lot of fun and a huge natural rush. I couldn't believe how clear my head was after white water rafting.

When you clear your mind, you have to watch out because you may end up remembering all the things you forgot when stressed out. Yes, sometimes stress often causes you to forget important assignments or things in your life you were suppose to do and causes you to get a bit "scatter-brained." For me, stress at Grad school this summer caused me to forget some assignments. Luckily, I hope I can still recover a decent grade and learn for the future to give myself more time to detox. So, before the stress gets to you. Try getting away for a mental retreat, a time to embrace nature and clear your mind so that you can come back to your life refreshed.